I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
