Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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