Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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