I want to stick my p in your. b.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
