More tranny stories later!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
