I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
