2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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