nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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