I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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