I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
