you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize