i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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