hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Randomize
