what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
