I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
