Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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