I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize