So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
