Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We need to get me chipped asap
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
