yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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