you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
