Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize