btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
