So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yo dont text me then not text me
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize