Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
