2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
