Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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