ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
