can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
