your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
