i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
