there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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