I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
