dude i'm inner monologue high
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
