escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
