I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
