Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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