he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
