the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
well you can't waste a boner
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize