Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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