I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
