she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
