Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
