its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I need moral support for this bender
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
