That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
