it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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