why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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