i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
