so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
