Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
