Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
