i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
