its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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