why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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