I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
