Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
