dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize