Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
