fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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