FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
