There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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