Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize