if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
