I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish I only lived at night.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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