i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
did i walk over a car last night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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