Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i drank out of a bidet.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
